Better Off Dead
by Human Emotions
Summary: Uh, Karkat/Sollux. Sollux is anitsocial, neglects Karkat. There is a lot of red and anger and stupidity. M for self-injury and language.  Dropped.
1. Chapter 1

** AN**: While spellchecking this I realized that I can't spell for shit. Anyway, how do I ship Homestuck. I ship everybody x everybody, that's how. Um, obviously I haven't written anything in a while, and this won't be a oneshot, yay. But school starts in like a day, and the next chapter will be the same as this except a different version. I guess. Anyway, it's short and stupid and there's cutting/blood and swearing, just the way I like it. Don't tell me the whole cutting thing is overrated because I already know that. I just can't write anything else and writing this made me happy. Also, how do I write x's with Sollux? Wah. Also-also, I dunno how old they're supposed to be. Just make something up. Okay, this AN is getting lengthy, so I'll end it here.

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><p>"Hey, Sollux."<p>

"What do you want?"

"Wow, okay. S'nice to see you too. Anyway, I was wondering if you, uh... dammit, wanted to... watch a movie. Or something. I don't care." A blush crept onto the troll's face.

"Oh, wow KK, I'd love to, but I'm jutht tho _buthy_." Turning back to his computer, he might have rolled his eyes, if they worked like that. Did they? Who the hell knows.

"Dammit, fuckhead, you never do anything with me!"

"Oh, what, ith little ol' Thollux your only friend?" He scowled.

"_Friend?_ Last time I checked, you were my _boy_friend, Thollux," he spat, mocking the other troll's lisp. Since their arrival on Earth, they had abandoned most Alternian words, settling for simple English.  
>Stupid.<p>

Sollux didn't reply, but his fingers stopped moving around his keyboard.

"Well?" Karkat demanded, but the other troll remained unresponsive. "Gog, Sollux, I'm starting to think you don't even care! It's like you don't really even have flushed feelings for me, but you're so fucking afraid of being alone that you'll stay with me anyway! For you, it's like being my matesprit is a Gog-damn chore. And I guess you're not fucking doing your chores very well, because you won't even talk to me!" Angry red tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke - er, shouted.

"Are you even listening to me?" he yelled, and the tears spilled out of his eyes.

They sat in silence, mostly - with the occasional sniffle from Karkat.

"God, Vantath, thtop crying and try to speak like you're not from a different galakthy." He didn't even turn around.

Karkat threw his arms up in frustration and stormed out of his - _their_ bedroom.

He stomped down the hall and into what the humans called the bathroom. He slammed the door shut so forcefully that the whole neighborhood could tell he was throwing a hissyfit.

He propped his elbows up on the counter and held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. Was love really supposed to be this hard?

Love? Damn. How many times had he told Sollux he loved him? It didn't matter. He would never say it back. Stupid human emotions.

Sure, they acted like a couple around their friends, but it didn't change anything. At home they were practically strangers. Strangers who, at night, crawled into the same bed and occasionally listened to the other cry in their sleep.

Karkat looked into the mirror, at his tear-stained face. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. You never do anything right. Your own boyfriend doesn't like you. You'd probably be better off dead."

He tugged up the sleeves of his Cancer shirt, revealing exactly five months and two days of self-abuse. The scars gleamed white against his gray skin. Some more recent cuts were in the process of healing. Oh well.

Of course Sollux never asked about the scars. He didn't care. Never did. Thinking of this, Karkat yanked the top drawer under the sink open, and rummaged around until he found the pill bottle. Of course, there were no pills. It was empty except for two razor blades. The kind you get when you spend twenty minutes sobbing and prying open a shaving razor with a pair of scissors.

He struggled for a second with the cap - fucking child proof, fucking clicks - before he emptied the contents onto the counter.

_You'd be better off dead._

He picked up the newer of the two, held it in his right hand. He bent his left hand back and stared at his stupid goddamn cuts. He picked out a spot near the crook of his elbow and added another rung to his ladder of scars.

"Fuck," he hissed quietly. Wouldn't want to disturb Sollux, since he's so damn busy.

Angry red blood seeped out of the wound, and Karkat's angry red tears fell, too, into the basin of the sink. He wanted to punch a hole in the goddamn wall, because he was so angryangryangry.

The doorknob turned and Karkat sobbed while his stupid boyfriend took in the stupid scene and blinked his stupid dichromatic eyes. Stupidstupidstupid.

Sollux swallowed before saying, "Clean up thith fucking methh, KK." Then he spun and walked away, rubbing at his stupid eyes under his stupid glasses.

The razor blade flew out of Karkat's hand, chipping the paint on the wall then clattered to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** So I lied and this chapter isn't the same as the first. Okay. Jesus fuck this chapter is longer than the last one, oh my god. This is a surprise. Anyway, I typed this super fast so I'm sorry for any typos, nyah.

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><p>Karkat had spent a few minutes crying and dabbing a tissue at his cut before he finally bandaged it. He also managed to clean up any blood. He didn't, however, return to the bedroom. As it if mattered, the door was locked.<p>

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><p><em>Sollux POV<em>

I threw my glasses across the room. _This is stupid. You should be able to handle this. You shouldn't even care. At least he's not dead, right?_

Oh, god, what if he was dead? What if he cut again after I left? I should've stayed, helped him...

I wiped those damn tears off my face. _What, you suddenly _care? _No, you always cared. You're just a stupid fuckass who's too afraid to show any real emotion. How pathetic. You-_

What was that? Did he just slam the doodr? What door wwas it? I should've gone and out and checked.

Nope. Too scared to do that. I'm sure that Karkat hates me now, anyway. If I'd gone out there, he'd probably have pucnehd me in the face. Even if I had just wanted to tell him I l-

Never mind.

So instead of checking on my boyfriend, I curled into a ball on our bed and hugged his pillow.

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><p><em>Karkat POV<em>

"God, Gamzee," I whimpered. Wow, I'm pathetic. "He doesn't even _care_."

Gamzee had known about my, uh, problem for a while now, so he was the first person I thought to bitch and moan to. He lived in an apartment by himself, so I could roll up my sleeves and cry on his couch without anybody else seeing.

But that didn't make it any less embarassing.

He was sitting next to me, holding one of this dumb fucking horns. The fact that he still had them made me want to set fire to his whole fucking building. At least he had the decency to stop painting his stupid face.

"Well, bro, you've got yourself a motherfucking problem, don't you? But I doubt that Sollux really doesn't care. What'd he say when he saw you?"

"He said, 'Clean up this fucking mess.' God. He should be more like you! Oh, shit, makes it sound like I'm coming on to you. I just- I mean, you saw me and you went 'Shit, Karkat, what happened?' Is is so hard to even pretend to care?" I rubbed my eyes, fighting off tears.

"And then he just left?" Gamzee continued. Suddenly, I didn't want to talk about this. This is stupid.

"I should go," I blurted, sitting up stiffly. "Bro," Gamzee said sternly, "I can't help you out if you don't fucking talk to me. Open up; spill your guts."

I swallowed a _Fuck you, Gamzee_ and just nodded. I sat there, piecing my words together, when he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah..." I mumbled. Then, clearer: "He walked out then, back to... our room. Then I did what he told me to do, cleaned the fucking bathroom. And now I'm a fucking mess on your goddamn motherfucking couch." I had clenched my hands, which were now by my sides, into fists. My nails dug into my skin.

"Well..." _Well what, motherfucker? Ugh._ "If you asked me, I'd say that Sollux just has his own way of coping with this bullshit. You don't know what he felt when he saw you. Man, he probably freaked out-"

"He had the balls to tell me to clean the fucking bathroom, Gamzee!" I cried.

"Quiet," he snapped. Sighing, he mumbled, "Alright, it's getting late. You can sleep here," he said, patting the couch, "but I really think you should go home and talk to Sollux."

I groaned. "Thanks, but no thanks. You'll just lecture me every chance you get. I can sleep on my own fucking couch. No promises, on the talking, though." Even as I said this, my voice was shaky and I was extremely doubtful.

"S'what Palemates are for, bro." He nodded, and drew his hand back from my shoulder. "Now get out of my fucking house."

I felt him grinning,b ut I just stared at my knees, suddenly having lost the ability to move. I felt each beat of my heart; every breaht rattled my frame. I was sure Gamzee's face fell then, because he nudged me and asked if I was alright.

"Maybe," I mumbled, "I'll stay at Terezi's, or something..."

"No, man," he said. "You know her and Strider just split up, right? Two vulnerable mtoherfuckers like you guys alone in the same house? At night? Bad news for you, bro. Stay here or go home."

"God, Gamzee, I'm not a fucking child anymore. I don't need you to take care of me," I huffed.

He raised an eyebrow, as if contemplating how to tell me that I must be fucking insane.

"Shithive maggots," he decided.

"What?"  
>"You must be shithive maggots. I said it right, didn't I? You were always the most colorful motherfucker in that aspect. I mean, Karkat, you burst through my door sobbing, and twenty minutes later you tell me you don't need a motherfucking babysitter? I'm beginning to think I should worry abotu you, man. Just, stay here tonight, okay?"<p>

It took a lot of arguing, grumbling, and of course cursing, but I agreed to sleep on his stupid couch for the night.

It took even more arguing until I finally let him call Sollux and tell him I wasn't dead or anything stupid like that. Originally, Gamzee'd wanted me to do it, but I called him a fuckass a lot until he changed his mind. Stupid fuckass.

Even so, I was hardly hesitant in asking Gamzee what had been said over the phone when he walked back into the room.

He did that eyebrow thing again. "Well?" I demanded. It couldn't have been _that _bad, could it?

"Well, since I'm a good friend, I promised Sol I wouldn't tell you a bunch of this shit. But, mostly what went down ist hat you can go home whenver you want, 'cause he's gotta talk to you, real bad, Kark-"

"Fuck him. He had the chance to talk to me when he walked in on me slitting my fucking wrists! Or how about before then, huh? When I actually wanted to be with him? He's such a dumbass, I-

"Shut up, I wasn't finished," Gamzee growled. "He wants to talk to you, and I don't really want to listen you to cry all night, bro. No offense." I scowled. "It's like ten right now," he continued, "and I'm not gonna make you walk home in the dark. So I'm gonna ignore you when you wake up screaming, and you're out of here first thing in the morning, okay?"

Did he have to act like such an asshole? I supposed treating me like a six-year-old girl wouldn't have helped, either, but damn. Harsh.

"Whatever," I growled.

* * *

><p>Gamzee meant it when he said he'd ignore it when I woke up screaming.<p>

_Sollux opened the door and luaghe.d HIs laugh was cruel, cold. He took a couple steps closer to me, his arm stretched out. _

_His fingers curled around my arm and he pulled me close. He took the razor from my hand, and that's when I started shaking. It was like my legs suddnely couldn't support my weight and I collapsed. Every part of me was numb, except for where Sollux gripped my arm. Me own blood flew freely between his fingers._

_He was turning the blade in his free hand. He turned his wrist upward abruptly, jerking my arm to a nearly impossible angle. Then Sollux pressed the razor - that with my now blurrly vision caused by blood loss and straight up pain was just a glint of silver in the air - to his own clean wrist._

_It cut through his skin easily. he carefully drew a straight line, looking perplexed._

_Then Sollux tossed the razor behind him and crouched down beside me. Half-counsiously, I pressed my bleeding arm to his. His sweet, honey blood mixed with the foreign red blood leaking out of me. _

_He grabbed a handful of my hair with his other hand and leaned down to kiss me._

Then I screamed.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** I've had this written for a few days now, but I wrote most of it at 1 in the morning and the rest of it the day after that so I'm sorry if a lot of it doesn't make much sense. I stopped in the middle of this to write Striderless, so, uh, whatever. Okay. It is full of mushy human feelings, by the way. Sorry for any typos. _I am so sorry you're about to read this because it makes no sense whatsoever._

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><p><em>Karkat POV<em>

Gamzee walked with me back to my house. It was the shittiest most awkward walk in the history of ever. I was almost glad when it was over.

But why the hell would I be happy to be back there? Of course I wasn't glad. I was a million different things, but not glad. Fuck no.

I was scared-furious-nauseaus-angry-sad-agitated, but nonono, never happy nor glad. I wasn't sure I was even capable of that. Dumb fucking human emotions. Why can't everyone just be angry all the time, like the good ol' days?

Gog, I didn't do stupid things like cry, or, uh, cut myself on Alternia. I remember when I fainted at the sight of blood like a little grubfucking idiot.

It seemed like it had been years since we left Alternia. Which it had, I guess. Dumb fucking Earth years. They're not so great. Solar sweeps are obviously superior. But we left sweeps on Alternia. Everything great is dead on Alternia.

I would rather have been dead on Alternia than standing awkwardly in front of my own house, afraid to move. Gamzee was waiting for me to walk, or talk, or do _anything_. It was, like, thirty-five degrees out and it was snowing. My fingers curled into the pockets of the jacket Gamzee let me borrow. I stared at my shoes and felt his eyes boring into my back.

Shit, why is this so hard?

"Gam?" I croaked.

"Yeah?"

"I can't move." He sighed, then stepped forward so we were standing side-by-side. Then, faster than the fucking speed of light, he linked our arms together and dashed up the walk to the door (dragging me along with him, the stupid fuckass), knocked once with his free hand, and without waiting for an answer, threw the door open.

Sollux's muffled _What the hell?_ made me want to turn and sprint out the door, but Gamzee still had his arm through mine. I tried to slip away, but he moved too, from that semi-romantic (or it would have been if he were anyone else and it were a different time and place- no, wait, it wouldn't have) bro-escort thing to a firm grip on my shoulder. I had to look up to glare at him, since he's about seven inches taller than I am.

My glare was probably more of a pained scowl, but that didn't matter, because he wasn't looking at me. He was staring striaght ahead with a smug, douche bag look on his stupid face. He's probably getting a kick out of all this.

Asshole.

Sollux walked in, grumbling about the noise. I noticed how he didn't look directly at either of us. His glasses were taped together in the middle. Every muscle in my body ached to run, flee, abscond...

Well, _that, _or wrap my arms around him.

I was staring at him, I realized. I started to get fidgety - taking my hands out of my pockets, crossing my arms, putting them back in my pockets... I wanted to scream at Gamzee to take his filthy hand off of my shoulder an get out of my house. I wanted to...

There were a lot of things I wanted to do. What I actually did was shrug my shoulders and bite my lip. A little too hard. I spaced out, and sort of forgot that my teeth were sharp as fucking knives for a second or something, because the next thing I knew I was bleeding and cursing all over the damn place.

I swear Sollux looked like he was going to vomit, but Gamzee simply told me to shut up and let him look at my busted lip.

"You're a dumbass, Karkat," he said. Like I didn't already know that. He had my blood on his hands now, and I was starting to feel queasy.

"Dude," I growled. "I'm, like, dripping fluids over here. Can you take your paws off me for ten seconds so I can handle this myself?"

I added, quickly, "S'not the first time I've had to deal with blood." His eyes got wide and he shook his head at me.

"Well, we all know it's true," I hissed, bringing my hand up to my motuh. I stepped away from Gamzee and stumbled out of the room, avoiding any possible eye contact with Sollux.

Fuck, did he move the bathroom? I leave for one night and Sollux thinks he can rearrange the house? No, wait. Houses don't work like that. There's the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned. Blood was dripping down my chin, off my fingertips. I muttered curses as I turned the faucet on, letting it run until the water was warm.

I rinsed off my hands, blood mixing with water. It was a familiar sight.

I grabbed a towel and spit more blood into the sink before I pressed it to my mouth. Fuckity fuck fuck, a white towel, Karkat? You're such a dumbass. Whatever, it's just a towel.

When the bleeding pretty much stopped, I evaluated the damage. There were four holes in my lip, two deeper than the others. Fantastic. Guess who's having the greatest time of his life right now? Karkat Vantas, that's who.

As I was messing with my lip, someone knocked onthe door. Jegus, a guy sustains minor injuries and suddenly he needs a babysitter? Fucking ridiculous.

"What?" I groaned. I prayed and hoped and wished to every deity that I could think of that it was just Gamzee checking up on me.

It wasn't.

I gave Sollux a sideways glance when he opened the door, but I'm not sure he noticed, since he was obviously very preoccupied with staring at his feet.

"Are you... thtill bleeding?" he asked, and suddenly it was more awkward than the walk over here, because at least I'd known what Gamzee was thinking about then. The tension hanging in the air was so heavy, I probably could've been able to grab it and shove it down my own throat. Maybe I already had. It already felt like I couldn't speak, couldn't breathe.

Oh, wait, yes I could. "Uh, no. I mean, I don't think so." Gog fucking dammit, why won't he look at me? I wanted to close the distance between us, grab his pretty little face and _make_ him look at me. Maybe I would. Maybe I'll just-

"Gamzee left. In cathe you were wondering," he announced quietly, derailing my train of thought.

"Well, fuck," I sighed. "Guess that means you're my babysitter now, hm? Though I think babysitters are supposed to actually look at their charges. But what do I know about babysitting?" I leaned with one elbow on the counter. My other arm was limp at my side, my fingers twitching as I imagined grabbing his face again. _Just look at me._

His face tilted upward ever-so slightly. "Do you _need _me to take care of you, KK? Ith that what you want?"

"God, why does it matter what I want? Why are you so damn quiet? And, for the love of God, _look at me!_" Was there really a point in yelling if he wasn't going to yell back...? Yes, of course. Yelling is the key to everything.

He didn't say anything. "What, are you stupid? I told you to look at me! That's what I fucking want! Or did you change your mind? What I want doesn't matter anymore?"

He lifted his head. Finally. "You're thtill bleeding," he said, quiet as fucking possible. I touched two fingers to my mouth, and realized he was right. Goddamn blood.

"Whatever," I said. "It doesn't matter. I-"

"It'th been at leatht ten minuteth thinthe it thtarted bleeding," he cut me off. "Maybe I should, um..."

"Is my fucking lip bothering you so much? Shit, Sol."

"It'th not fucking eathy, to thee you bleeding, KK," he snapped. "Maybe if _you _walked in on _me _thlitting up my writht, you'd get it."

_Wait, what?_

"I... fuck, Sol, what?" I'm sure my eyes were wide as dinner plates right about then.

"You fucking heard me," he grumbled. "It wathn't the motht pleathant thight."

We turned away from each other. I ran my fingers through my hair and tears welled up in my eyes. Gee, big surprise. Karkat is crying again. Who would've guessed.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered, hoping he heard me so I wouldn't have to repeat myself.

The floor creaked softly as he took a step closer to me. I found myself hoping that he would just hug me adn we could forget any of this ever happened.

I took back half of that wish when he wrapped his arms around my waist. I'd never forget any of this, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Me too," he breathed into my hair. Why am I so fucking short? "For everyhing."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **This chapter is mostly just them watching Titanic so... I wrote this while I watched Titanic for the first time :B. It was a VHS tape, soo... Sollux POV like usual.

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><p>I'd like to say that things got better from then on. I'ld like to be able to say that I showered Karkat with the love and affection he needed. That he <em>deserved. <em>

But you need to understand how fucking _hard _it is to change almost everything about yourself. I didn't know how to love him before, and this wasn't exactly a learning experience. I know when to say I'm sorry, when to give him space and when he needs me to hold him.

But that's not really love, is it? Don't take that the wrong way - I love him. I do. I just never really learned how to act when you're in love. I never watched a shitty romcom and I spetn the first six sweeps of my life on a planet inhabited by hate-fueled savages. Which, I guses, so did all my friends. But I think I turned out pretty damn okay.

All my other friends had humans, or - sadly - had watched a romantic comedy with Karkat at least once. I have not had the pleasure of doing so. Yet.

* * *

><p>"Grubfucking seedflaps and all that is holy, what time is it?" Karkat growled. He's not what you would call a <em>morning person.<em>

"Dude, it'th almotht noon. Get out of bed already, you inthufferable twat."

We've grown accustomed to early-(to him, anyway)morning vulgarities around here. "You don't have to be a fucking douche canoe, Sollux," he muttered, covering his face with a pillow.

"Yeah, well... There'th food in the kitchen." He rolled over and stared at me like I'd just said I bought him a puppy, then kicked off all three of the blankets we used on that stupid bed. He scrambled out of bed like a kid at Christmastime. Jesus, if food gets him this excited...

By the time I found Karkat again, he was sitting on the couch with the pizza box in his lap. He'd already managed to cram half of a large pizza down his throat.

"Do you even chew your food?" I wondered aloud. "No," he said. Simple as that. I'm not sure if he was being totally serious or not, but I didn't bother to ask.

I left the room briefly, and when I returned with two cans of Diet Coke in hand, he'd eaten another three slices. I sort of just sighed and grabbed the box out of his hands, tossing it to the coffee table. He pouted. "Remind me to never get lunch ever again. You're gonna make yourthelf thick." He shrugged and shifted position so that he was kind of sitting on his knees. I held out one of the cans and he took it.

"So," the was a _crack _as he opened his Coke, "what's on the agenda for today?" He gulped down half of it before I could even reply.

"You kind of jutht thelpt through a big chunk of the day, KK," I reminded him. "But it'th not like I even _have _an agenda. It'th Thaturday, do whatever you want."

"Sleep and eat it is, then," he nodded. Like it was the best fucking plan he'd ever thought of. The he suddenly scrunch up his face like the grumpy little wriggler he really is. "Was it always so cold in here?" he asked and I could almost hear his teeth chattering.

"The heat'th not working quite right," I told him. He scowled and grumbled curses under his breath. It was, if I may say, very adorable.

But I wasn't going to actually say that. Hell no.

I'm pretty sure he said something about sleep then, because he sulked out of the room. I don't know _how _he manages to sleep away half his life, considering he was borderline insomniatic before we came to this planet.

I, however, hadn't steppped foot into the bedroom all week until that morning. I slept on the couch and knocked on the door to wake Karkat up. It was, in a word, stressful.

* * *

><p>Karkat'd been sleeping for three hours when I woke him. I felt impossibly stupid, staring down at the box in my hand. Two cassettes, fuck, this movie must be long. But, hell, it's pretty much the only romance movie I know of.<p>

So I'd woken Karkat up to ask if he wanted to watch _Titanic _with me.

"Are you fucking stupid?" he'd said. "...yes."

Twenty minutes later we were all settled in the living room, sitting as close as you can sit without cuddling. He wouldn't let me fast forward through the beginning. I mean, really? Who cares about a few assholes trying to find the necklace? At least, I think that's what happened.

Apparently the answer to that question is Karkat Vantas.

I forgot to mention, he was wearing his favorite sweatshirt. It was at least three sizes too big and it made him look tiny and adorable. Naturally, I told him he looked stupid.

He scowled. "I'm fucking cold." I ruffled his hair and somehow my arm ended up around his shoulders.

By the time "My Heart Will Go On" started playing for the first time, Karkat was whispering Rose's lines - which I found a little odd but didn't question. When they kissed, he almost squealed and it was so damn cute that I was at a loss for words. And by that, I mean I didn't bring it upon myself to make a snide comment.

I did ask him how many times he'd seen this (I made sure to ask while those assholes from the eginning of the movie were talking). He'd just mumbled, "A few."

"Oh, come on."

"What?"

"How many timeth have you really theen it? Four, five?"

"Eleven, now, I think."

I stopped laughing just in time to hear "Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls," and then I started laughing again. Karkat was angrilly shooshing me the whole time. I quieted down for him, but it's hard not to snicked when an elderly woman proclaims, "It was the most erotic moment of my life."

"You're ruining the movie, Sollux," he growled. I apologized by kissing him on the cheek. It was a daring move, considering it was our first kiss in about a month. If I said it didn't bother me - that it was no big deal - I'd be lying. I was terrified.

Karkat blushed furiously and grumbled something about me being an ass.

I wondered if he wanted me to open doors for him and take him to the stars and put my hands on him. It occurred to me that I really had no idea what he wanted -

Oh Jesus what is this movie even _rated? _PG-13? Bullshit. Sex in vehicles which do not belong to you is not something you want to show to children.

"Why are they acting like it'th no big deal?" I asked him, after they hit the iceburg - referring to the socialites kicking ice around like it was some kind of sport.

"They said it was unsinkable," he choked. I glanced at him as he rubbed his eyes.

"Aw, dude, theriously?" I groaned. "Nobody even died yet."

"But they will!"

Then the screen went black and he hissed at me to put the second tape in. I scrambled off the couch and did what he said for fear that he would start screaming if I wasn't quick enough.

When I had resituated myself on the couch, he grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me close. Oh god his head was on my chest and fuck- there was no stopping it. We were cuddling. And, by some miracle, I kind of liked it.

My arm was draped around his shoulders again. "They're the only one'th not wearing lifejacketth," I whispered. All I received in reply was "Mhm."

"I don't think muthic will help anything."

"Mhm."

"Chritht, they're jutht gonna leave him there?"

"Mhm."

"Her jacket'th gonna weigh her down."

"Mhm."

"Shit, ith he gonna lothe a hand? He ith, ithn't he?"

He didn't say anything this time. I looked down at him, confused. He glanced back up at me briefly. "I don't spoil things, douche."

"Fair enough," I nodded, and looked back to the television. For the record, he didn't lose a hand.

Also, he should've opened the gate when Jack told him to. Order should've been kept. Those musicians shouldn't have been so cheerful. Jack's a good liar. You're so stupid _kiss _stupid _kiss _why'd you do that _kiss_?

"Jethus," I hissed. Whatshisface, Will? has just chosen the option "bullet to the brain." Karkat nods slightly against my chest.

This is the sad part of the movie, I think. Karkat tightens his grip on my shirt and shivers. People are jumping overboard. Windows burst and there are screaming men and women everywhere. Hail Mary's are recited.

I hear Karkat sniffle. There's a sickening crunch and whine as the ship starts to split.

"He's lying, you know," said Karkat. He's referring to Jack's _"I won't let go."_

We're silent for a while, until the one boat goes back for surviors. Then, I let out a disgusted "Oh my god." Too many frozen corpses.

Jack is dead, Rose isn't. It is a tragic love story in which there is no "happily ever after."

When it ends, Karkat is obviously crying. He's getting my shirt wet but I'm okay with it.

"...well," I said. He looked up at me and I swear he was never as attractive as he was right then. I couldn't help myself - I leaned in and kissed him right on the mouth. He curled his arm around my neck and it was awkawrd and wet and simply perfect.

I pulled him onto my lap and pressed my lips to his neck. God, he's lovely.

"Sollux," he whispered.

"Mm?"

"What would you... do if I, um... died?"

I closed my eyes. Leave it to him to pick the worst timing, ever.

Fuck, how many times had he wondered this? At least this once. Which was, in fact, once too many.

I pursed my lips, searching for the right words. Nothing I say would be good enough. So, I took an alternate route.

"If you jump, I jump," I said sheepishly. He rolled his eyes. "I'm... serious," he mumbled.

I looked him straight in the eyes. They were getting redder every day and they reminded me of bright red blood, candy red, flowing from cuts, and I shuddered. "So am I."

He blushed and looked away. I moved in to kiss him again, and he didn't protest. It was just a small peck, but his blush turned three shades deeper.

"Oh," I said, "KK. You _really _need to work on your timing. You sure know how to kill a mood, don't you?"

"Shut up," he growled. I supposed he was right, since kissing and talking don't really mix.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Hahaha you expected a good ending, didn't you? Well I don't know how to write endings so too bad. This is all you get.


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